mooses

Ah man, sick of resizing photos - especially when they're so low quality & of the same people merely in different witty poses & my red coat is the only thing i wear EVER. But I had a good time!! Leah left today so I finally got a chance to use my laptop for a bit in between watching The Grudge with my mum & her friend who are hiding their faces behind old Star magazines. I have no idea what to write in this anymore. UM. The same as everyone else, really - been drinking too much, eating too much, drinking too much & drinking too much & god there is no way I am even going to attempt to list/photograph my christmas presents or concoct an arty photo collage of 2005 for my photo collage of 2006 would literally be just an image of Emily covered in cobwebs in front of PaintShop with a frustrated look on her face.New Year's Resolution #1: Never going to the cinema again. I spent 7 euros each on Narnia and King Kong & both were delightfully rubbish & made me want to tear out my eyeballs & throw them at the screen. Wah. It didn't help that they seem to think it's A-okay to let in bastard gobby children who proudly announce to the audience what is going to happen next. SHUT AAP! I think I'm going to watch Saw 2 tomorrow.

reach for the scalpel

I was just browing Getty Images, as you do & came accross this 'Hannah Spearitt' at the OK! Magazine's VIP Christmas Karaoke Party (LOL, v. clazzy stuff as you can imagine), but SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME this is NOT the same Hannah Spearitt from S Club 7! Is it?! I am so confused. WTF.This is going to annoy me forever & thus it is imperative that I find out. If it is, then it's hilarious. If it's not then, well, it should be.In other important news. I've re-discovered red cinnamon chewing gum! YES. Amazing!

i don't have an advent calendar. i buy myself a piece of clothing everyday instead.

I bought another collar (from C&A, no less) today. I found 2 (5) ways to wear it (hence really crafty look), but the second er, would only be so practical if I were a poorly labrador. Of course I will not be donning it over a low-cut pink Primark top. Fashion fow-par or wot. But it has persuaded me to go on a hunt for a Little-White-Fur-Riding-Hood type garment which will undoubtedly never appear in my greedy greedy mittens. Sigh.I also picked up (oh, here we go) a red beret but promptly returned it after waddling a few metres from the shop & discovering on peeping into bag that it had magically turned a horrendous shade of red. So off I go & purchase a knitted MUSTARD YELLOW bobble-hat instead. It sounds revolting, but it's really an incredible headpiece in disguise (at least, I think so) & it's even better when I wiggle my head around. Eitherhow, I already look like the secret spawn of a jolly Father Christmas with my red coat & christmas earrings (my mum makes all the girls wear these frightful creations - see: flashing wreaths, dancing snowmen, jingling bells etc - Mark Darcy & his Reindeer jumper have nothing on me). It's MORE than tragic & it's like if you don't wear them you'll get coal in your stocking. I recall one particularly sorrowful christmas when my dad actually put coal in my stocking as a joke (along with some onions). I was absolutely distraught. 1991 was bad year for me. Let's hope 2006 is kinder & gives me lots of moneys and jobs.On a completely unrelated note, is it just me or has Little Britain just gotten, um, crap? I'm SURE it used to be good! Wasn't it? Wasn't it even a LITTLE BIT good at one point? Or was it the mere fact that people constantly bantering on about it being 'SO GREAT' tricked me into believing so? Have I been living a lie? There are only 1 or 2 watchable characters & even they get tiring. Ah well. Ab Fab 4eva!!

bandwagon shenanigan

It's the anonymous bashing post that we all know & love. I'm a bit slow. But since I haven't met a lot of my "friend's list", I'm truly curious as to how I come accross on this here LiveJournal. And why I am even on your friend's list in the first instance. Tell me anonymously what you really think. IP logging has been turned off & comments will be automatically screened. Go!

hi, it's me again

Recent Obsessions & Endeavors include;- Jasper Goodall- French Toast (all I ended up with was a messy kitchen and some soggy bread?! I blame the French). Stick to regular toast, I say.- Overusing the 'oops'. I have broken 3 coffee mugs in the space of a week. A WEEK. & am tiring of replying to questions concerning ominous bruises with 'mm, dunno' (for i honestly do not know). Zero Balance + Zero Coordination = Bruise City. I wish I was more of a sensible-shoes kinda gal...- Growing out my eyebrows. There is a current presence of unattractive strips of stubble slap-bang on my forehead after my sister decided it would be a SPECTACULAR (exclamation mark) idea to pluck them for me. I did not care to witness sister's own, which were, lo & behold, non-existant.- Australia's Next Top Model (after having finished France & America). They are ALL munting, arrogant trollops. Fantastic.- Reading a lot. Namely, Victorian Ghost Stories. Ah, the days of spotty faces, leggings, dirty blonde hair & Goosebumps. I'm sure I was the only girl who actually read Point Horror rather than Point Romance. ROMANCE! Get a lyfe, it's all about blood & bad hair.- Re-writing/translating my CV (which is currently in french, er, so NOT useful right now).).- Accompanying Mother to view houses. The pink atrocity has finally been sold! Hip hip hooray.

hi, it's me again

Recent Obsessions & Endeavors include;- Jasper Goodall- French Toast (all I ended up with was a messy kitchen and some soggy bread?! I blame the French). Stick to regular toast, I say.- Overusing the 'oops'. I have broken 3 coffee mugs in the space of a week. A WEEK. & am tiring of replying to questions concerning ominous bruises with 'mm, dunno' (for i honestly do not know). Zero Balance + Zero Coordination = Bruise City. I wish I was more of a sensible-shoes kinda gal...- Growing out my eyebrows. There is a current presence of unattractive strips of stubble slap-bang on my forehead after my sister decided it would be a SPECTACULAR (exclamation mark) idea to pluck them for me. I did not care to witness sister's own, which were, lo & behold, non-existant.- Australia's Next Top Model (after having finished France & America). They are ALL munting, arrogant trollops. Fantastic.- Reading a lot. Namely, Victorian Ghost Stories. Ah, the days of spotty faces, leggings, dirty blonde hair & Goosebumps. I'm sure I was the only girl who actually read Point Horror rather than Point Romance. ROMANCE! Get a lyfe, it's all about blood & bad hair.- Re-writing/translating my CV (which is currently in french, er, so NOT useful right now).).- Accompanying Mother to view houses. The pink atrocity has finally been sold! Hip hip hooray.

moche comme une coche

Jeeze Louise, traveldisaster.com. Last night was spent in Paris, alone, in the bathtub of an overpriced hotel (photo of my room, not taken by me. note cringe-tastic matching curtains and bedspread, eww). I was only meant to stop in Paris for an hour but getting from South of the city to the North by METRO with a colossal amount of baggage in such a short space of time was not going to happen was it now? Nay. I missed my train by 5 minutes, gutted. I had just spent my last euro on an Iced Tea & had no money w-h-a-t-s-o-e-v-e-r to even phone my Mum (my mobile was out of credit). Luckily this chap saw my sadface and offered to pay for a call to the parentals to tell them that I had no dosh & was stuck in Paris with no trains home until the next day. I think they be used to these phonecalls now. Phonebooth chap offered to pay for my room in a hotel, I thought.. Wow. How nice of him ("you ehr good gerl, oui. I tek you to hotel", reminded me a bit of Bhorat of Ali G fame, except he was a Parisian & not from Kasachstan). Of course he meant a room with him in it as well. After a good hour of listening to him garble on while sat on my suitcase, I finally escaped his slimy grasp by running (or, hobbling as fast as my blistered feets would take me) towards the most expensive-looking hotel I could see (he was all about the B&B, cheap bastard) & phew, a nice place for Emily to spend the night on father's visa, with a delightful breakfast of croissants & pain au chocolat brought to my chamber this morning by a merry little Japanese man who came up to my knees.I'm unsure if I can explain why I ended up back here, square -1, but I am battered, aching & thirsty like a camel (I don't know, are camels thirsty?). I've never experienced thirst like that before. Lugging my belongings & dumping them at the entrance of a small pub before crawling to the bar and ordering 4 glasses of water one after the other & downing them like vodka after a breakup. I would be pissing for England (or France? Belgium? I like to think the English wee a lot more than the French though) soon enough. But ANYHOW. Hoorah, for I now have lemsip and broadband AND ENGLISH TELEVISION. I've been watching The O.C, 24 & Sex & the City in french for 2 months, comical. Such relief now the audio matches the visual.Other events include going on another date with Nicolas, the bus stop boy (I met him at the bus stop, don't you know. All v. romantic). Sebastien met him & I think he got along better with Nicolas than I did. Then it was decided that I was in love with Sebastien because I have never been in love and I must be missing out. It wasn't really as great as people make it out to be. I am over him now. Oh, I constructed myself a room in a shed in the back garden I was So Proud of my DIY craftiness, but the almighty Gods LITERALLY rained on my parade the other morning when I woke up & my bed was floating in the flood water! Oh whoops, sister forgot to tell me my hut is not flood-proof & I should not play with plug sockets in water just after I got electrocuted when trying to rescue my laptop. I should have invested in some common sense, really. & in OTHER news (gosh, I'm on a roll now) I have sent my applications off for cabin crew with Virgin Atlantic & ANA Airways, I'm not sure yet if I want them to like me. I am still desperate to go back to university but I have a whole year in between to find something to keep me occupied. Air hostessing, it sounds so tacky and last resort, much like all those chavtastic 'beauty' courses but it was a whimsical idea founded by visions of 5-star hotels, parties in Rio & shagging rich mens. I realise this is not always the case & articles in Marie Claire aren't the best of sourced. But. How good would it be if that's what the job entailed?WHAT TO DO. Well, for now I go yonder to sit in front of television box & when I emerge I will be entirely unimpressed if my eyes are still eye-shaped & I do not look like I have a history of heroin addiction.